Friday, December 23, 2011

Happy WHICH Holiday?!

You're in line to check out at Kohl's, and the big bags of gifts in your hands seem to be getting heavier.

You try to ignore the two eight year olds having a fight behind you and regret your terrible decision to get in line behind the 30-something lady in front of you who bought about $450 dollars of merchandise. Does she REALLY need eleven pairs of shoes? Lady, the Christmas season is about buying presents for OTHER people. We all know that every single pair of those shoes is size 6 1/2. And let's face it—you're probably size 10.

You finally get to the cash register and pull out your Kohl's charge—they're offering 4% off today with the purchase of 10 or more items! After fishing out a pen, you look up at the clerk's face. He looks nervous. Why? Is his boss standing behind you? Is this his first day of work? Did he look that scared before?

"That'll be 55 dollars and 49 cents," he manages to say. "With the four percent off discount, that's only 53 dollars and 27 cents!"

"Great," you mumble. After paying and getting your receipt, you take the bag and start to step away from the cash register. You say, "Have a nice day."

The clerk looks like someone's holding a gun to his back, and suddenly you understand why. "Happy Holidays!" he bursts out. He stares at you expectantly, hoping you won't be offended.

Now, if the shopper who was lucky enough to get 4% off was me, I'd look at that little nervous dude and say, "And a Merry Christmas to you."

Why are people these days so nervous about offending everybody? Did you know that in some places, workers are actually prohibited from saying "Merry Christmas?" They HAVE to say "Happy Holidays," if anything. Because what if whomever the shopper is celebrates Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or something? Well, so what if they do? That's cool with me.

I think "Happy Holidays" is silly. Say, "Happy Hanukkah." Say, "Merry Christmas." Or whatever you'd like to say. "Merry Christmas" probably applies to most people, and that's what I celebrate, so that's what I say. I'm not really offended, per se, when people say, "Happy Holidays." It just frustrates me.

Sometimes when people say "Happy Holidays" to me, I just want to say, "Happy what? Happy which holiday? Do you mean all of them? Like, Happy Easter, Happy St. Patrick's Day, Happy Halloween, all rolled into one?" Gee, thanks. This dude just wants me to have a happy everything.

Some people don't believe in ANY holidays in December or maybe no holidays at all. I think we're excluding/offending them when we mention a holiday at all. So should we do away with Christmas or whatever just because some others aren't a fan of it? No, of course not.

Sure, you shouldn't go around insulting people, and it's nice to be polite and aware of other people's feelings, but if I want to say, "Merry Christmas," by gosh and golly I'm gonna say it.

I'd probably get fired if I worked at Kohl's. Haha.

No comments:

Post a Comment