Important Questions in Life

There are so many things I don't understand.

Why do some people have two different colored eyes?

Why would anyone want a tarantula as a pet?

Why are some people serial killers?

What makes people become insane?

Why are all desks so uncomfortable?

Are there aliens?

Why do people say it's nice to have a "good cry?" I hate crying; it makes me feel horrible.

Why do some people think it's even remotely okay to murder a baby before it is born?

Why would anyone want to drink something that will skew your thought process and make you more likely to do stupid/dangerous things?

Why do people go tanning when there are numerous proofs that it causes skin cancer?

Why would anyone leave a baby in a hot car, even for a second?

Since when is it a good idea to try to survive in a barrel going over Niagara Falls?

Why would anyone worship Satan?

Why don't some people wash their hands after going to the bathroom?

Why would you ever leave your house/car unlocked? Call me paranoid, but it's just not worth it.

Why would anyone buy cigarettes/drugs/alcohol for minors?

Why do mothers purposefully put their children in the same vicinity as other children who have Chicken Pox so that they'll get it, too?

Why do parents let their children whine and complain and give them everything they want?

Why would anyone adopt a pet and then starve or abuse it?

Why in the world would anyone put used gum under a desk? Disgusting.

How in the world do some cultures think it's okay for men to beat their wives?

Why do some people think swearing is cool?

Why do some people dislike ice cream?

Why would anyone make a list of questions on a blog?

Rant of a Grammar Nerd, Part 2

So you still think grammar isn't important? "I can write however I want" you say "I can write and write and write and go on forever and my meaning will still be perfectly clear I will write run-on sentences to my little heart's content there's not a thing you can do about it so there ha I told you so."

Horrendous. My fingers are bleeding just from typing that hideously incorrect "sentence." Grammar isn't just an archaic conglomeration of smudge marks that snotty, learned people call commas, semi-colons, and hyphens. Grammar is an essential part of writing. No matter what occupation you get yourself into, you're going to have to write. Trust me.

If you still don't believe grammar is important, check this out. I did not write this, but I think it's pretty cool.

Version one of letter:

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jane

John was not happy with the first letter. But then he remembered that dear Jane had always had trouble with grammar. So he thought and thought and thought, and he finally moved the punctuation around so that the letter said this instead:

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy—will you let me be yours?
Jane

Sure, the letter is a bit awkward, but it gets the point across. Learn yo grammar!

And, what you've been waiting for...

3 More Grammar Rules

1. To, Too, and Two

"To" is a preposition.
Correct usage: My mom gave a gift to me.
They went to the mall.

"Too" means also.
Correct usage: I'm going to study for the test, too.
Gerald, too, wants to attend the dinner party.
(Notice that "too" has commas around it.)

"Two" is a number.
I want two pieces of cake.

2. Good vs. Well

"Good" is an adjective, which means it describes a noun.
Correct usage: You did a good job in the game.
This milkshake is really good!

"Well" is an adverb, which means it describes an adjective, a verb, or another adverb.
I'm doing quite well, thank you.
You did really well on your test.

3. NEVER EVER EVER EVER put a period or a comma outside quotation marks. EVER.
I could go on forever about different rules regarding this principle. However, this one makes me the most frustrated, so I chose it.

DON'T do this:  "Mom," I said, "I'm leaving for school".

Nonono!

Write this: "Mom," I said, "I'm leaving for school."

Sigh. Okay. I'm going to be okay. I'll get over my OCD someday. Until then, I'll still get gray hairs and lose a few years of my life every time I spot a run-on sentence or grievous punctuation error in a printed publication.

Grammar = <3

Rant of a Grammar Nerd, Part 1

People sometimes call me a grammar nerd. In fact, my journalism adviser at my university actually calls me a "Grammar Nazi." However, I prefer to be called a grammar enthusiast. Not everyone shares my passion for grammar, and I understand that. For example, my knowledge of history and math is severely lacking. I enjoy doing a lot of things, but I'm not necessarily good at all of them. On that same note, I'm not going to pretend that I'm a grammar expert or that I never make mistakes. Grammar is a strong interest of mine, and it's pretty sad how long I can talk about it, explain it, or read about it without getting bored.

And because I know it's what you've been dying to read all day, I've compiled a short list of words that people ALWAYS mix up. Wait—words? Isn't that about spelling? NO! It's all grammar. When you write the wrong word, it skews the meaning. Grammar is all about making writing clearer. You can be creative until the cows come home, but it's not going to do much good if no one can understand what you mean.

Thus:

1. Your vs. You're

Your =   Your hair is on fire.
You're =   You're really stupid.

Your is an adjective.
You're means "you are."

2. There, Their, and They're

There =   I left my book over there.
Their =   My mom wanted to borrow their recipe.
They're =   I think they're coming later.

There means location.
Their means ownership or possession.
They're means "they are."

3. Effect vs. Affect

Effect =   The weather has a negative effect on my condition.
Affect =   The weather affected me negatively.

Effect is a noun 99% of the time.
Affect is always a verb.

Now, if you even read that, it's likely that you'll forget it. I'm feeling a little pessimistic today. Sigh. Oh, well, I guess I have nothing to say since I remember next to nothing from pre-calculus class my junior year of high school. "How is that applicable?" you ask. IT'S APPLICABLE! Because I love grammar, I remember it well. As for math, all I remember is that 5 + 5 = 11.

But hey. We can't be good at everything, can we?