Saturday, April 7, 2012

Almost Left Dressing Room Without Pants On

Yeah. I almost walked out of a dressing room without pants. Oh haha! Melissa, you're such a goober. How silly of you to forget something so important: pants. No, no. I didn't forget. I almost did it on purpose. Why? Well, let me explain.

I have to give you some background story. A few months ago, I was shopping at Plato's Closet, a second-hand clothing store near my university. I was trying on a ridiculously fancy red dress that didn't exactly fit me. I walked momentarily outside the dressing room so I could show my friend Shannon the dress. We joked about how ridiculous it was, and then I went to walk back to my dressing room a minute later. There was someone else in there. Uh... Next thing I knew, I saw some Plato's employees standing behind the counter folding MY clothes, the ones I'd worn to the store, and putting them in little piles. "How much do you think we can get for these?" one of them said.

WHAT IS THIS CONSPIRACY? DOES PLATO'S MAKE ALL ITS MONEY BY STEALING CLOTHES AND RE-SELLING THEM? I went over there and demanded they give back my pants, shirt, and jacket, and then I had to wait in line a second time to put my own clothes back on. Of course it was just an accident.

I was with the same friend, Shannon, today, when we went to the Plato's Closet again, except this time it was the one in Ohio where she lives. I was in the dressing room trying on dresses, ironically enough, when suddenly someone banged on the door.

I instantly grabbed the doorknob and held it. Another time at Plato's Closet, someone walked in on me while I was getting changed. Yeah, I have no faith, respect, or confidence in Plato's employees.

Anyway, a voice said, "You need to get out right now! You have too many items in there, and you've been in there too long."

How did they know how many items I had? I checked the little room for cameras. She had spoken in a commanding, unnecessarily rude tone. "I'm done. I just have to put my clothes back on, and I'll be right out," I responded.

I was trying to hang up the clothes I'd been trying on so I didn't have to obnoxiously leave them in a giant pile on the table when I left the dressing room. And I was trying to finish getting dressed. About two minutes later, she came by and banged on the door again. "You need to get out right now!!" she yelled.

"Uh... I'm sorry, I'm not done getting dressed."

"You need to comply right now!"

"If I walk out of this dressing room right now, I'm not going to have pants on," I said.

"I warned you five minutes ago, and you did nothing. There is a six item limit, and you've been in there for way too long! If you don't get out right now, we're going to CALL THE POLICE!"

I hadn't seen any "six item limit" signs anywhere. You've got to be kidding me. The police? At this point I'm completely serious when I tell you I almost walked out of the dressing room without pants on. They said they were going to call the police if I didn't get out RIGHT NOW, didn't they? Seriously, how funny would that have been? Ha I can just imagine the looks on their faces.

I'd just say, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. I was just scared because they said they were going to call the police!'

But no. I put my pants on before I left. But I was shaken up. Shannon had been sitting outside the dressing room, and she said she had no idea what those employees' problem was. She said the girl had been standing outside the door rolling her eyes and just generally having a horrible attitude.

I got in line to buy the dress and made sure I wasn't anywhere near the two worker who had yelled at me. When it was my turn, I started to tell the cashier about what had occurred. I wanted to know what had happened, and I think they should have given me the item for free because of the absolutely unacceptable way I was treated.

I started to say that I was yelled at and threatened while I was trying to use the dressing room, and this older lady charger over and started yelling at me AGAIN.

"EXCUSE me," she said. "You were told multiple times to get out, and you didn't. You have nothing to complain about."

"I was talking to her," I said calmly, pointing to the frightened cashier.

The older woman scowled. "I'm the manager, and I'll talk to you however I want," she snapped. Then she started yelling at me again about how I was wrong, rehashing the incorrect way I had apparently been using the dressing room, and basically telling me I could shut up and deal with it. Also, she said that I was "suspicious" and might as well have just accused me of trying to shoplift.

I tried to tell her that I didn't know about the six item limit, and I had immediately started to get ready to leave the dressing room as soon as they had asked me to, but she continued yelling and being mean.

"This is ridiculous," I said. "I'm never coming back here again."

She leaned closer and snapped, "I don't care!" And then she started yelling again.

I interrupted, "I'm going to pay for this and leave." I ignored any further comments she made and then left.

I will be calling the company and telling them how their employee, a manager no less, treated a customer. She deserves to get fired, but I don't care if she does or not. I just think I should get reimbursed for the dress I bought because their employees screamed at me and threatened to call the police when I was just trying to use the dressing room.

When I was in the dressing room, I kind of wish I'd yelled, "You gonna call the po-po? You go ahead and call the po-po! See if I care!" That would have been even better.

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